Hangover Ratings

Time for some good laugh!

I got this from Belgian Beer Cafe notes on FB.

1 Star Hangover *

No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.

2 Star Hangover **

Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

3 Star Hangover ***

Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.

4 Star Hangover ****

Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. Home time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or 3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

5 Star Hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) *****

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen. Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently. 

humor time!

I just finished cooking sinigang, while carrying Andreas on my left hand. He is soo heavy now and i feel really very tired i am tempted to doze off. But there is so much to clean yet so while waiting for my little boy to take his nap, i check my mails hoping to receive my payment from Ringier but i guess, things are just to tight for everybody hihi.

Anyway, recession has hit everyone here in the UAE. Hundreds of people are terminated and/or take forced leave for certain months without pay. While some countries lay-off their employees, Dubai has adopted "redundant position" in reference to sacked employees. There are probably more sad stories to all of these but one e-mail placed humor on the current global crisis. Read on...

A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees were in office.

As usual thr entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & every employee gathered outside office.

10 minutes passed..................................5 more minutes passed.

Security Officer started Announcement:

"Dear Employees - With a heavy heart , I make this announcement that it will be the last evacuation drill for many of you , as we are laying off almost 80% employees. While moving in , if your access card won't work , you are laid off & all your belongings will be couriered to you tomorrow. We followed this approach as we don't want to send layoff emails in thousands & also to avoid any fights inside the office. Hope you have a nice career ahead. Please move in & try your luck".

Thank you to hubby for sharing this.

humor time!

It's Started

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it
starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

humor time!

Hubby shared this e-mail to me and i am posting it so we can all have a good laugh.

Airplane vs Women

16 reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women

1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.
2. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
3. Airplanes don't get mad if you do a 'touch and go.'
4. Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.
5. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
6. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
7. Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.
8. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
9. Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.
10. Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
11. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
12. Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
13. Airplanes expect to be tied down.
14. Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
15. Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
16. However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.

Happy Saturday!!

I have been down with colds for three days now. Good thing that it is weekend because hubby volunteered to take care of Andreas' night time feeds. Thank you darling. I know you are stressed out too from your and you need the two days off to sleep and re-charge but still, you are barely sleeping for taking care of us. I love you. Mwah mwah!

I feel lighter today because i was able to sleep well last night, unlike the previous nights when my cough kept me awake until the wee hours of morning. And oh, we met new friends too last night. We went to Gwen's party and we all had fun despite my colds. I will be sharing photos later. Got to go down now and cook because we are spending the afternoon at the beach.

Ramadan Kareem!!

Ramadan starts today here in the UAE. There are some strict do's and don'ts for the next 30 days but i don't mind it because hubby gets to leave the office early for the whole month. I'd love to see him resting or playing with Andreas.

This is my second time to experience Ramadan and so far the don'ts include
1. no eating or drinking in the public
2. avoid wearing shorts or sleeveless outside the house
3. try to avoid the road around 6pm because everybody is hungry and is rushing home to break their fast

What one can do is to
1. respect the local custom
2. try to join their Iftar (the 6 p.m. dinner). the locals will appreciate you joining and celebrating Ramadan.

Below is our special greeting to all our Muslim brothers and sisters.

10 minutes to a happy healthy you

Happy Thursday everyone and a Happy Labor Day too! I shall continue my clippings and i hope this will ease any stress you have for the week.

31. Find 100 gratitues in 10 minutes
Feeling grateful for something boosts yo0ur mood. Write down 100 things you're grateful for and look at your list when you're feeling down.

32. Go to sleep for five minutes
Or rather take the power nap.

33. Give your pals a 10 minute rub
The middle of your palm corresponds to the solar plexus reflex point which is the prime for unwinding. Stimulate by massaging it in clockwise direction.

34. Shower in four minutes or less
That's the way to an eco-friendly shower and you'll feel good too about not wasting water.

35. Test your pillow in two seconds
An old pillow increases your risk of fatigue and aches. Get hold of yours and place the center of it over your arm. If it flops over the sides, you need a new one.

10 minutes to a happy, healthy you!

We now continue our quick fixes. City life is very stressful and we might just get a surprise relief from these clippings.

26. Pop a pen lengthways between your teeth for five minutes.
You'll look a little daft but it turns your mouth into a smiley shape, which boosts your mood. In studies, people find jokes funnier after pen popping.

27. Call your mother / father and tell you love him/her.
Life is too short for regrets - let those who you care about know how you feel.

28. Do the seven minute chill-out
Spending seven-minutes a day breathing slowly, taking fewer than ten breaths per minute, is a major relaxant.

29. Do a five minute dust each day
Dusting will cut your risk of asthma in half. To pick up dust particles quickly and efficiently, damp dust rather than dry dust.

30. Spend 20 seconds stretching your neck
Simply pulling your chin in towards your neck, holding for ten seconds and repeating once more will stop any end-of-the-day aches.

Till next entry!

10 minutes to a happy you!

Whew! A lot has happened but I am not forgetting my clippings so we continue.

21. Take 10 minutes to do something meraki
This Greek word means doing something from the soul, that's creative or motivated by love - something happiness researchers say gives you ultimate joy. Try making a card instead of buying one or giving your partner a quick shoulder massage.

22. Try a three-minute inversion
An upside down yoga pose boosts blood flow to your brain which energises you and also "stimulates hormones in the head leading to a sense of well-being."

23. It only takes ten minutes to have Botox
Yes, it tackles your wrinkles which make you feel good in itself. The theory is that if you can't frown, you're less likely to feel down as changing facial expression can alter the brain's interpretation of emotional experience. If Botox is a step too far, try massaging along your eyebrows at regular intervals to ease away frown lines.

24. Piston breathe for two minutes
To do this breathe in, then exhale forcefully through your nose in short powerful pulses five to seven times. It instantly revitalises you as it sends a rush of oxygen to the brain.

25. Stretch your feet for three minutes
If you've been wearing flip flops or your ballet flats to death, the bottom of your feet now hurts. You need to put the ankle of your achy feet on your opposite knee and pull your toes towards you. Hold for ten seconds and release then repeat for ten time. Do this three times each day and the pain will stop.

Thanks everyone for your continued interest. Previous entries are filed under Get Happy.

10 minutes to a happy you!

So we continue my clippings on life lift. For those who missed the first three parts, you can click get happy category.

16. Take a 20 second luge thrill ride
Hurtle down the luge at Ski Dubai's Snow Park. The ride will take less than a minute, but the buzz will last all day. Or better yet, climb up Jebel Hafeet.

17. Spend five minutes in your knicker drawer
If you often suffer from thrush, combat this yeast infection by throwing out knickers that aren't 100 percent cotton. Man made fibers are more likely to create the warm environment that encourages thrush to flourish.

18. Lick a teaspoon of honey for 60 seconds
Doing this will send a quick surge of the happy hormone serotonin to your brain within five minutes.

19. Suck on some liquorice for five minutes
And yes, we do mean the confectionery variety. The liquorice extract used as a sweetener can ease chesty coughs.

20. Sniff some may chang for five seconds
It's a sherbet lemon-scented oil.

Yes you can be happy in many other ways aside from devouring that Ferrero. Good night everyone. Till next entry!

10 minutes to a happy you

Thursday is here again. I shall be busy over the weekend so i might not be able to log in. We are attending the baptism seminar tomorrow and if we can schedule the christening next Thursday, i will have to deal with the guest lists, invitations, and favors. But before i go, i leave you these...

11. Zap your bikini line in 10 minutes
A Brazilian boosts sexual satisfaction says 53 percent of testers. Hair cushions sensations in the clitoris so if you remove it, sex is more stimulating. Hmmnn...

12. Do a five-minute furniture re-jig
Your hallway is the transition point between work and home. Walk and you should see something beautiful such as a picture or paiting and you'll immediately feel happy at home.

13. Go fluoro in 30 seconds
Color therepists believe neon colors give seriou vitality buzz, so add bright shoes, a bag, or necklace to your outfit and you'll feel energized whenever you see it.

14. Fill in your diary for two minutes
Anticipation of fun things makes you feel as good as doing them.

15. Make a five minute detour to the florist
Studies says that flowers give immediate joy and make you feel happier for a whole week afterwards.

Have a good Friday everyone!!!

10 minutes to a happy you (part 2)

I love Thursdays. Because it signals the start of the weekend here in the GCC. I might not be able to log in because it is family time for us so i leave you the second part of ways to be happy.

6. Chop extra vegetables in 60 seconds.
Eating fruits and veggies make you feel happy as well as healthy (as you do something good for yourself). If you are bored with the usual suspects, try something new such as kohlrabi - a white, green or purple cabbage that's yummy steamed.

7. Take five minutes to find your P point.
Sexologists say this point is located on your perineum and is an underrated pleasure.

8. Listen ten seconds longer.
Often we stop listening to someone as we think we're not going to hear anything valuable or worthwhile. But try listening longer and you might be surprised at what you hear.

9. Do the five-minute back check
The Spinal Mouse is a small hand held scanner that pinpoints the exact cause of a niggly back or neck ache and "what might cause more problems in the future.

10. Take five minutes to match-make a mate
We feel good when we help others so why not flip through your black book and set your best bud up with a date to help her find Mr Right?

Have a good Friday everyone!

10 minutes to a happy healthy you

Who said getting healthy or happy had to take time? For the next few days, I will share with you my 40 clippings that is proven by studies and researchers to make you feel good in less than 10 minutes. Come read on, because it is worth a try.

1. Tumble dry your socks for 90 seconds
Did you know that one of the things that tells your body that its bedtime is the blood vessels in you hands and feet dilating? Stimulate action by putting on warm socks and you'll fall asleep faster.

2. Gargle with water for 60 seconds
Doing this three times a day cuts your risk of colds by a third. Just don't laugh while doing it, ok?

3. Check you bank statement for two minutes
A recent study showed that 62 percent of us feel happier if we are in control of our finances. And even once a week read to see whether you're on a budget will help.

4. Spend 10 minutes doing something you've been putting off
Thinking about doing your expenses or making that dreaded call is ten times more stressful than actually doing it - so get it over with and feel the weight lift from your shoulders.

5. Spend 10 minutes googling an old friend
Former friends could well bring something to your life now so fire up the search engines and start digging. We all can benefit learning the art of friendship.