Yes, we are experiencing those outbursts and i am preparing for more when we reach the age of terrible 2s six months from now. This post is a take on Ann's Toddler Tantrums.
Andreas was never a challenging baby. When we attend to his needs at that precise moment, he will stop crying/complaining immediately. And because hubby and i raised him alone, we know exactly what he means by those inaudible sounds, hand gestures, crying spells. We were first time parents but somehow we managed to be confident with our parenting skills -- taking cues from Baby Center and What To Expect books.
But of course, no matter how many theories you have read, your child has his own personality and will react differently as what books and theories suggests. But combining mother instincts and readings, here are the ways we handle Andreas' tantrums.
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when (1) we do not allow him to play with that thing (i.e laptop) he soo wanted to tinker with
Solution: I learned this from hubby very early on --provide alternative. Do not scold, shout NOO, or take it away. Simply bring his attention to a favorite toy. These days, Andreas is most interested in his lego, shape sorters, and stacking rings.
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when(2) we do not allow him to play alone on the balcony (because it's hot and dusty),
Solution: No other toy will provide as subsitute for the wide, noisy balcony with a view of cars (which he is most interested) so i offer him a drink. I give a fresh orange juice in a different cup or glass (anything just not his regular cup). I know that it is a rule not to reward your kids with food so i stick with diluted apple juice or anything liquid with a different presentation to make it a real treat.
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when(3) we remove him from the bath tub (he is crazy about waterplay).
Solution: A finished bath is the thing he hates most. And it breaks my heart that it happens everyday. So enter the Barney, Brainy, and Brilliant Baby videos. Before i announce to him bath is over, i ready his clothes and play the video. He will cry when i get him out of the tub but as soon as he hears Barney, he stops complaining. I dress him up easily with his attention glued to the screen.
Andreas and his "owie" (see how he clings tightly on the stuffed dog?)
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when(4) we go for a long drive or we are stuck in a traffic.
Solution: Does your child have an "owie"? You know that security blanket, or toy that comforts him? Bring it with you. Andreas' "owie" is stuffed brown bulldog from Ikea. When i noticed that he has certain fondness for it, we bought another to stay in the car and a reserved one in case he soils either. Also, the toys (cars and book) in the car stays there. We do not bring them up anymore so he will not be familiar with them --that everytime we travel, he is busy with a surprise toy.
And for those situations where "owie" is not within reach, I rely on my son's favorite ,The Raindrops song. It never fails to soothe him since he was a tiny baby. His face would brighten every time i whisper "standing outside with my mouth open wide. a-aaa-a-aaa-aaa."
Andreas was never a challenging baby. When we attend to his needs at that precise moment, he will stop crying/complaining immediately. And because hubby and i raised him alone, we know exactly what he means by those inaudible sounds, hand gestures, crying spells. We were first time parents but somehow we managed to be confident with our parenting skills -- taking cues from Baby Center and What To Expect books.
But of course, no matter how many theories you have read, your child has his own personality and will react differently as what books and theories suggests. But combining mother instincts and readings, here are the ways we handle Andreas' tantrums.
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when (1) we do not allow him to play with that thing (i.e laptop) he soo wanted to tinker with
Solution: I learned this from hubby very early on --provide alternative. Do not scold, shout NOO, or take it away. Simply bring his attention to a favorite toy. These days, Andreas is most interested in his lego, shape sorters, and stacking rings.
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when(2) we do not allow him to play alone on the balcony (because it's hot and dusty),
Solution: No other toy will provide as subsitute for the wide, noisy balcony with a view of cars (which he is most interested) so i offer him a drink. I give a fresh orange juice in a different cup or glass (anything just not his regular cup). I know that it is a rule not to reward your kids with food so i stick with diluted apple juice or anything liquid with a different presentation to make it a real treat.
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when(3) we remove him from the bath tub (he is crazy about waterplay).
Solution: A finished bath is the thing he hates most. And it breaks my heart that it happens everyday. So enter the Barney, Brainy, and Brilliant Baby videos. Before i announce to him bath is over, i ready his clothes and play the video. He will cry when i get him out of the tub but as soon as he hears Barney, he stops complaining. I dress him up easily with his attention glued to the screen.
Andreas and his "owie" (see how he clings tightly on the stuffed dog?)
Situation: Our little boy gets negative feelings when(4) we go for a long drive or we are stuck in a traffic.
Solution: Does your child have an "owie"? You know that security blanket, or toy that comforts him? Bring it with you. Andreas' "owie" is stuffed brown bulldog from Ikea. When i noticed that he has certain fondness for it, we bought another to stay in the car and a reserved one in case he soils either. Also, the toys (cars and book) in the car stays there. We do not bring them up anymore so he will not be familiar with them --that everytime we travel, he is busy with a surprise toy.
And for those situations where "owie" is not within reach, I rely on my son's favorite ,The Raindrops song. It never fails to soothe him since he was a tiny baby. His face would brighten every time i whisper "standing outside with my mouth open wide. a-aaa-a-aaa-aaa."
The key simply is "knowing" your baby.
4 sweets for Kero:
Totally agree with ur solutions mummy, we're doin the same thing with Thea now, we really have to get ready for the so called "terrible 2's", but if discipline starts as early as now i don't think it'll be as bad as expected.
Patience and unconditional love is the key ingredient.
Hope our bebes can have playdates someday. God bless
3 Owies? :) Nice post Kero!
Ann, thank you for opening the topic. I've been meaning to write about it but never got the chance.
Twinkie, thank you for the visit. and for the award as well. Will post it now.
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