Quote of The Day

An excerpt from my little brother's letter. He is mediating after my little sister disowned me for failing the role of a big sister.

But first, here is a part from the apology letter I wrote to my brother. The Mama I am referring to is our  maternal Grandmother who stood as a mother we never had.

"It is true that I failed in emotional support as a big sister to you and Nikki. But I never failed financially. The whole five years I worked in Batanes, I gave five thousand every month to Mama to add yours and Nikki's tuition fee and school allowance."

"I had my own issues to work and thought if I remained distant I would spare you and Nikki from hurting. I wanted to set an example of strength and to some extent discipline. And that no matter what, you can live alone. I am sorry, kiddo. It was the only way I knew we could survive. You have no idea how wretched I felt from losing Mommy."

"No, I do not regret anything. Maybe if i had been more available as a shoulder to cry on for you and Nikki, you would not have reached the success and independence you both have these days."

My brother responded in a way that made me the proudest sister in the world. Here is an excerpt from his letter.

"We all have differences, yet we are the same. We all grew up without somebody to really talk to or cry on. We all share this common emptiness in us, that none of us ever grew with our parents. We have grown distant to one another. Maybe because we've been accustomed to being left by our loved ones that we tend to think that we can live without each other - - that we have lived this long without the outright support of each other. 

"We have grown so independently that we think we can live without each other."

~ Jason Salendab

Our mother didn't die as one would assume from the letters. She just vanished a few years after she and our biological father separated. Our maternal grandmother went to great lengths to find her. But you do not find a person who chooses not to be found.

I am the classic example of a child from a broken family. And then the abandoned child. Then the disowned sister.

I hope parents reading this will consider a thought before heading for legal separation - or divorce.