Dubai Driving Tips Daw!

I read the article below from everybody's favorite free newspaper, 7Days. The city woke up to a gloomy sky and with road accidents occurring every hour due to flooding and drivers not being used to wet slippery road (ikaw ba naman kase nasanay sa camel tapos bigla kang magmaneho ng Mercedes), I figured we could all use some cheering up.

HANDBOOK FOR DRIVING IN DUBAI FOR FIRST TIME:

1. If your road map is more than a few days old, throw it out and get a new one.
*Does this also apply for Abu Dhabi? tsk, tsk, hubby recently bought his AUH Explorer

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dubai has its own version of traffic rules, which can be summarised as “Hold on and pray!”

3. If it is your priority to cross, forget it and wait.

4. All directions start with Sheikh Zayed Road, which has no beginning and no end.

5. If you are driving a Corolla, Sunny, or another small Japanese car, stay on the far right lane. No comment!

6. Most roads mysteriously change names as you cross intersections.

7. The minimum acceptable speed on the Emirates Road is 160 km/h. Anything less is considered downright rude.

8. Anyone in a Land Cruiser, Nissan Patrol... with tinted windows has the right of way. Period!

A reader from Jebel Ali adds the following:
9. Never, really never use indicators and back mirrors.

10. Driving a car is the best time to use the phone, do the make-up, read the newspaper all at the same time.

11. The maximum distance to the car in front of you should never be more than a meter.

12. In the night do never use the normal lights. Switch them all off or use the fog lights only.

13. Your children need to learn driving early as possible. Let them ride unbelted on your lap.

14. Minibuses cannot drive less than 120kmph because the 20 guys in it need to get somewhere urgently.

15. If you want to leave the highway, do this very last minute by swerving over three lanes at least.

16. Cars in Dubai drive on the wrong side. Overtake on the right-hand side only!

17. Never switch a lane you're driving on even if you drive from Ras Al Khaimah to Abu Dhabi. Stick to your decision even on lowest speed.

18. The hard shoulder is meant to be a skill test for overtaking. Especially when you're from Abu Dhabi.

19. Don't be a coward in rain or fog and drive even faster to get out of this condition quicker.

20. Petrol is cheap so drive every meter. Never walk or use other transportation.

21. Teach all this rules to your kids as early as possible to show them how cool you are.

And Mr. Ali quipped in:

 22.  Store a canoe for those rainy day as cars are useless too (that is if you don't have a SUV).
*Emirati families own either a Land Cruiser or Nissan Patrol or both.